Who Am I?

         While doing homework this evening and discussing how hard it is for adolescents to figure out who they are as they grow up, it makes me think about my life.  Through the years I have been a daughter, a wife, an ex-wife, a mother,  a sister, a granddaughter, a niece,  a friend, an aunt, etc… Growing up I was the girl with the little arm. When I am out I am know by Lori’s daughter or Wayne’s daughter. When I am at a school I am this kid’s mom or that kid’s mom. But who am I?

Over the years I have tried on many personalities and none of them seemed to fit, because just like a teenager I tried to fit in with who I was around at the time. Sometimes these masks can get really hard to hold on to after a while and can become really scary to let go of.  You wonder if who you really are is good enough for the people around you to accept.  We walk around so much of our lives wearing whatever label or mask helps us get through the day. This gets really tiring after a while.  There comes a point in life where we have to stand up and be who we are without all the fake personalities and oh so perfect life masks and just be.

I am me! I am who God made me. I don’t have to hide who I am because there is nothing wrong with me. I make mistakes, I do things my own way and I strive to grow everyday to be better at being me. But I refuse to continue to hide behind a mask that says I am fine and I am strong all the time. I am a woman who has feelings and hurts and trials just like every other person in this world. You can like me or not but it really changes nothing to me as a person.

I am tired of trying to fit in to a worldview of what should be normal. I don’t look like you, I don’t think like you, why should I act like you.  No one is better or worse than me. We are all human, we all make mistakes, and we all answer to the same God. Why should I let your view of normal affect how I see myself? While I am a mother, a daughter, a student, a whatever else life throws at me, I am still just me. I don’t have to be who you want me to be because I am already someone. You don’t have to change me or like me or be me, you just have to let me be who I am.