So many things have happened in life over the past year. I have faced a lot of personal issues and have let fear rule my life. In the last couple of weeks I have been faced with some pretty big issues that I need to face. On Saturday I walked across the stage for my graduation ceremony for my first degree. A wonderful friend took me to a women’s conference called Dare to Be. There I was faced with the fact that my own fear could hold me back from the greatness that God created me for. By limiting what I am willing to try to do I am unwilling to let God use me to my fullest potential. If you stop looking within yourself for all of your faults and just trust that you are who God says you are, then you would be able to do so much more. I have been thinking about this for a few days now I believe it to be true. I believe it because if you let fear hold you back, you do not try to do things, you don’t strive to reach your goals. God gives us the passion and the purpose for the things that are important to us. If He gave us this desire to make a difference in the world, then shouldn’t we strive to fulfill that purpose? The only real limitations in your goals for life are the ones that you put on yourself.
During a recent Bible study I read: "Life is hard, but even the harshness of life points toward purpose. If you are willing, you can probably trace your passion all the way to the deepest point of your pain." (Beth Moore) I can agree with this statement, my pain from growing up with a birth defect has influenced my purpose in life of helping others through that challenge in life. I grew up being told that God made me this way for a reason. Hopeful Hands is my reason for being the way that I am. I was shaped, and molded and put through the trials of life to fulfill a purpose in life. I want to make life easier for others faced with growing up with a birth defect. My life experience, my challenges have given me the experience to know what it is like. My education is and will help me to be successful. BUT my FEAR had held me back.
Fear comes from insecurity. My insecurity comes from growing up being made fun of and feeling like I never fit in anywhere. There was no one that looked like me, or that was going through what I was going through. I thought I was the only one. Only when I was older did I realize that there were others like me, others who felt like I felt, and had been through some of the same life experiences that I had been through. Even with the knowledge that there are others who are like me and need help, I am still faced with fear and self-doubt. Who am I to start an organization? What good will I be able to do? How can someone like me possibly make a difference? The answer to all of these again comes from a Beth Moore Bible study… “I am who God says I am”.
When I let go of my insecurity and fear, I am more open to trusting God completely. When I do that, I am able to step out in faith and strive to reach my goals. My goals are my purpose in life. My purpose in life is to help others who are faced with growing up with a birth defect. Now I have to let go of my fear of failure and let go of my feelings of not being good enough, qualified enough, or experienced enough. It is actually a shock to feel more freedom in knowing that I don’t have to be afraid. If I try and fail, at least I tried. If I don’t try then I live with the “what if” question for the rest of my life. I think I could more easily live with the failure than the “what if”. Failure is only a temporary hurdle. Failure is a challenge to try harder, push yourself farther and reach higher. Failure is the precursor to success.
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